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The Lion, The Witch and The Football

Published by DSAdmin on January 21, 2009

Towards the end of last year, Liverpool manager Rafa Benitez was believed to be interested in signing young Brazilian defender Aislan. Paolino Oscar, the player’s agent, had intimated that the reds almost completed a deal for the youngster in the summer, only for worries over him securing a work permit scuttling the deal. Despite that, Benitez is believed to remain a keen admirer of the young defender and a deal in the transfer window in January has been mooted. Liverpool scouts are believed to have unearthed the youngster when they were left alone one day in Benitez home, and found a large seldom used wardrobe, in a dusty old back room…

The signing of legendary characters from literature, film and television is not a new development in the game. Manchester United brought through the ranks Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dumber in Gary and Phil Neville, West Ham gave kudos to Mary Shelley when signing her monstrous incarnation Iain Dowie in the 80’s and in the same era former Norwich City and Rangers striker Robert Fleck often moonlighted as Oscar the Grouch in Sesame Street.

It is a transfer policy also followed abroad where Milan’s Andrea Pirlo first gained fame as Planet of the Apes legend Galen and also in the refereeing fraternity where English referee Mike Riley’s main full time job is starring with Spongebob Squarepants as his collegue Squidward.

The links between football and the arts are set to be further enhanced, not only with Liverpool’s potential signing of Aislan, but of also rumoured transfer deals in the making. Due to their poor start Tottenham are believed to be considering a bid for Sauron from Lord of the Rings, the feeling being that only the Dark Arts are going to be strong enough for them to get themselves out of the mess they are in. Milan meanwhile are trying to sign Peter Pan, in the hope that his influence, or Tinkerbell’s magic dust, will spread throughout the side so they don’t get any older, this after a failed earlier bid to land the life-giving aliens from “Cocoon”. City rivals Inter are planning a raid for Van Helsing, so that they can face the buck toothed vampire from city rivals Milan Ronaldinho, twice a season, without fear.

Manchester City have announced that they have more money than anyone else so are trying to buy up the entire Disney franchise of characters. Expect to see Pinocchio in the boardroom, Goofy as manager and Mickey Mouse in the defence, although many would argue this has already happened. The Newcastle board (Dopey, Dumbo, Groucho, Zippo and Chico) are currently in talks with Morgan Freeman and Jim Carrey, to come in as Bruce Almighty and The Lord God himself, to try and rescue them from the predicament they are in. God however has reportedly walked out on the talks thus far stating “They want me to turn Newcastle into a genuine force in world football. Miracles I can do… but this?”

Sadly, there is no truth in the rumours that Real Madrid are seeking to reunite Donkey with his beloved Shrek. Despite Van Nistelrooy’s recommendations, Real President Ramon Calderon has remained silent on any bid for Wayne Rooney.

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