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Ronaldo to be trained by Lightning Bolt
Published by Ian John on March 9, 2009
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The somewhat bizarre news this weekend that Manchester United winger Cristiano Ronaldo has agreed to work during the summer with Olympic sprint champion, the fastest man alive Usain Bolt has come as something of a, if you will forgive the pun, bolt from the blue. Apparently this all stems from the pair having a mutual respect for one another which was discovered when Bolt asked Ronaldo for a signed United shirt, with Ronaldo asking to work with Bolt to improve his already impressive speed over the ground.
Of course, tired cynics could just easily point out that this could be a marketing ploy by their sponsors and agents, but that would be cheap and besides, I think Cristiano Ronaldo has hit upon a quite brilliant idea here.
While football may be a game unto itself, it composes of elements which are equally represented in other sports. Think about it, should Ronaldo be even quicker after his training session with Bolt (though I am yet to fathom how he is expected to be making significant leaps in speed with just one session) then it could lead to a whole raft of cross-over sports training.
Tottenham Hotspurs could employ Basketball superstar Shaquille O’Neal to teach goalkeeper Gomes how to come out and catch the ball properly. Although you’d have to be careful about him getting excited at doing so and then dunking the ball into the back of his own net.
There are a whole host of Premier League footballers who could surely employ the help of someone like Greg Louganis, the ex Olympic diver, to improve their posture and effectiveness of their swan like dives to the turf in an effort to con a free kick or penalty. Why not go the whole hog and employ Tom Hanks or Tom Cruise to give the dive added embellishment with displays of fake agony and pain? I think it would work a treat.
Liverpool could employ the forces of a giant sloth to teach Lucas Leiva how to move more quickly in midfield, while any striker struggling for goals, such as Afonso Alves or Robbie Keane could employ any of the myriad of British Tennis players other than Andy Murray, who would no doubt show them exactly how to find the back of the net with unerring regularity.
Arsenal could employ a falconry expert to improve the vision of manager Arsene Wenger. Surfers would no doubt be of great use to Emmanuel Eboue whose balance problems are such that he seems to have great trouble staying on his feet even under the most simplest of circumstances. Tiger Woods would find gainful employment at my team, Tranmere Rovers, showing how to hit the ball accurately over ten yards or more though I fear with the ’40p a day plus a Milky Way’ wages on offer, he may not be so tempted to give up golf just yet.
So well done Cristiano, I think you are a pioneer and an innovator!
Picture Credits : **Rich 115** on Flickr.com
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Nabyl Charania on Mon, 9th Mar 2009 12:01 pm
There’s some gems in this one!Tottenham Hotspurs could employ Basketball superstar Shaquille O’Neal to teach goalkeeper Gomes how to come out and catch the ball properly… ha!
Al-Nashir Charania on Mon, 9th Mar 2009 11:06 pm
Absolutely Hilarious article! Imagine Gomes dunking the ball, and missing…then falling to the ground feigning injury because he couldn’t even do that!! I do think the diving component has enough talent already, what with Gerrard, Drogba, and Ebuoe forming ‘triple-doubles’ already this season. Let’s leave T.Cruise with coming up with more alien creator names for us to marvel at;-)
Sports Crossover Training - Christiano Ronaldo and Usain Bolt Team Up | National Event Company Blog on Tue, 6th Oct 2009 12:40 pm
[...] do on the topic, so I wont try to rehash the authors words, but rather share the link with you all, so you can read it for yourself. However, I will discuss what this new training technique might lead to and why it is so [...]