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What they want for Christmas… Part One

Published by Ian John on December 21, 2009

So, what do you think each of the 20 Premier League clubs is asking Santa Claus for on Friday? Here’s my little list…

Arsenal : “All I want for Christmas is a 20 goal a season striker to replace the injured Robin Van Persie”, sang Arsene Wenger tunelessly and without scansion. Still, Santa should deliver in the January sales. A decent, powerful centre back wouldn’t go amiss either and perhaps Theo Walcott not to spend most of 2010 lying down in the physio room would be useful too.

Aston Villa : Most Villa fans think Christmas has come early this season, so Martin O’Neill probably won’t ask Santa for a great deal. I suppose he could ask for a comb and a haircut for assistant John Robertson and he could send Gabriel Agbonlahor to a plastic surgeon so he looks less like a perplexed neanderthal. But on the field, I think things are going rather well.

Birmingham City : Carson Yeung’s appointment meant Christmas has come early for the Blues, that and a fantastic run of recent form means that Alex McLeish’s men have already had the Turkey. They should have about £40m worth of new presents to unwrap in January too. Exciting times ahead for the Brummies!

Blackburn Rovers : Big Sam will be hoping for no more heart operations and perhaps a guardian angel to look after David Dunn, who has been back to his best. A proper replacement for Roque Santa Cruz would also go down well, that and perhaps some backbone to turn down the requests that seem inevitable for defender Chris Samba.

Bolton Wanderers : Gary Megson will be hoping Santa can deliver Premier League safety come May. Unfortunately Santa can’t do that and it’s down to Megson. Wanderers should be ok, but Gary would perhaps like a sword to fend off the interest from big clubs in Gary Cahill.

Burnley : Manager Owen Coyle’s living the dream this season. His wish from Santa is simple, for Burnley to start picking up as many points away from home as they do at home. If Santa delivers, Burnley will think it really is Christmas every day, if he doesn’t, they could be in a world of hurt come May.

Chelsea : There’s not much on Carlo’s list. Just about £150m worth of players, the League title, the FA Cup and most importantly of all the Champions League. While were at it, we may as well have World Peace, Didier Drogba to stop diving and Michael Ballack to stop trying to run the game as if it his divine right to do so.

Everton : David Moyes Christmas wishes are simple enough. First will be to get as many of his injured stars back playing as quickly as possible, second would be to bring in a few new faces on loan, third will be a fairy godmother to grant him a wish of a new ground and money in the bank and a fourth placed finish and lastly Manchester United to come knocking when Sir Alex finally decides he has had enough.

Fulham : Roy Hodgson must be hoping that Santa can bring him whatever Bobby Zamora’s been drinking the past few weeks. That and the ability to fend off interest in Brede Hangeland would be useful. A nice Europe Cup run would also make 2010 memorable and perhaps even persuade Mr Al Fayed to open the chequebook again and back the manager so he can once again shop at the Football transfer equivalent of Harrods, rather than Netto. (For our American cousins, Netto is like Walmart, only REALLY depressing)

Hull City : As well as asking for new tubes for his sunbed, Hull boss Phil Brown has asked Santa for a suit of armour to protect Jimmy Bullard in future. He’s also asked referees to stop booking Stephen Hunt for things Nick Barmby has done, a bit of form over the second half of the season and the chance to annoy Arsenal once again in 2010, if at all possible.

Part two of the list will be published tomorrow!

Image Courtesy of ***Texas Finn*** at Flickr.com

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