EPL, England, Europe, Features, Ian John, Leagues, Regions POSTS

The Premier League Round Up

Published by Ian John on June 30, 2010

Even though the World Cup is in full flow, there’s still a fair bit of Premier League news to catch up on…

First of course is the situation at Liverpool. Rafa the Gaffer has gone and replaced Jose at Inter, leaving a void at Anfield. So far we’ve had Harry Redknapp, Kenny Dalglish, Manuel Pellegrini, Didier Deschamps, Roy Hodgson and most bizarely of all, David Moyes linked with the job. Hodgson seems to be the bookmakers favourite, though what kind of team he is going to inherit remains to be seen. Lets be honest, Gerrard and Torres have hardly set the world alight this summer and their best player at the World Cup, Mascherano, is reportedly set to follow Benitez to the San Siro.

I’m sure Liverpool fans were practically suicidal hearing the news that Standard Liege striker Milan Jovanovic may renege on his deal with the Anfield side to perhaps join Rafa at Inter. Mind you, he has scored a winning goal against Germany, which is something no England player can say this summer.

Tottenham have reportedly made a £28m offer for Palermo duo Edinson Cavani (the least impressive of the three Uruguayan strikers) and Simon Kjaer (who struggled to cope with Japanese centre forwards). Looks like money well spent if you ask me.

Aston Villa are reportedly after Spurs striker Robbie Keane, who is set to be made available for a “cut price” £8m. £8m for a striker who had to move to the SPL to get first team action? I think I’d rather spend £5m on Giorgos Samaras. Don’t laugh, I am sure before the summer is out someone will.

Manchester United fans will be happy to see the form of their new striker Jorge Hernandez in the World Cup. The Mexican looked a quality finisher in the finals and his arrival could see the end of Michael Owen’s tenure at Old Trafford, though given Rooney’s performances in South Africa, one would wonder if Fergie may just be tempted to get rid of him instead.

Arsenal are not selling Cesc Fabregas, Cesc Fabregas wants to go to Barcelona. Barcelona want Cesc Fabregas. Arsenal don’t want to sell Cesc Fabregas. Arsenal are not selling Cesc Fabregas, Cesc Fabregas wants to go to Barcelona… Yep, we are in a loop and probably the only way out is for Fabregas to move home to Barcelona or the Spanish side make an offer so ludicrously big that Arsene would be mad to turn it down.

Inter Milan and Real Madrid want Steven Gerrard. If they make the right kind of bid, they’ll probably get him. Chelsea, Man City and Barcelona want Fernando Torres. See above. Enjoy the new job Roy!

Man City want David Villa and have agreed a fee. Not that it will happen of course with Chelsea waiting in the wings to gazump City with their own offer and the knowledge that Silva would rather gnaw his own leg off and pretend to be French, than join City instead. City also want James Milner from Aston Villa. He was the England player who could cross the ball. Consequently as a result of that, he is worth nearly £30m according to some.

Spurs want to sign Joe Cole, who’d rather sign for Manchester United. Michael Ballack has rejoined Bayer Leverkusen after being released from Chelsea and has spent the summer hiring a hit man to see of Ghana’s Kevin Prince Boateng and texting all his English Chelsea team mates and having a good old gloat.

Manchester United want Luis Fabiano from Sevilla. The Brazilian has indicated he’d rather go to Old Trafford like Joe Cole. Unlike Joe Cole, Manchester United may actually want to sign the Brazilian.

Manchester City are set to land Colombian keeper Victor Bonilla. Well, with only Shay Given and Joe Hart at the club, they need a proven international to sit in the stands each week. City also want Lazio left back Aleksandr Kolarov, who was spectacularly inept for Serbia during the finals, so much so Fabio Capello wanted to check if he had English ancestry.

There’s plenty more. Stoke are set to agree a deal with Cardiff for Wales winger Joe Ledley, another shrewd piece of business from Tony Pulis. West Ham want Efrain Juarez of Mexico and Nantes striker Loic Remy. The Hammers obviously in need of someone who will swear at the manager when substituted and cause the team to go on strike a few days later. Everton are struggling to hold onto Mikel Arteta. Owner Bill Kenwright has wrapped the Spaniard in a big bear hug and despite his fingers being locked, Arteta is frantically wriggling away in the direction of Manchester. Arsenal want Lorient centre back Laurent Koscielny because he’ll be the most often misspelled player in the Premier League next season.

Lastly, Man City want Yaya Toure to add to his brother Kolo. They also want Wolfsburg striker Edin Dzeko and probably the moon on a stick. Lets see if they get it.

Until next time, this is the Premier League round up. Now I’m off to depress myself watching Paraguay and Japan, two teams who lasted longer in this World Cup than England…

Image Courtesy of ***ajlisss *** on Flickr.com

Readers Rating: